Walking disease

We have these summer visitors who come through town about this time of year.
They come from near San Diego, and are headed north through Oregon and Washington for a summer of fun and sightseeing. but they forgot their car, so they have to walk.
I give them a ride into town if I see them since they will be walking 18 to 20 miles a day for the next 4 to 5 months!!! I tell them they are crazy, but they do not listen. They have compulsive walking disease ( CWD) and the cure is letting them walk it off. I smile, I wave, I shake my head in disbelief. The walk toward the mountains and away from us, the normal, the sane, the trapped.
I hope they have a great time on the Pacific Crest Trail PCT

great shot

( one of my co-workers put a nail right through his hand as I watched ( so I know now that weird things do happen) Here is a fine example:
this guy did not know he had shot a nail through the roof of his mouth! he went to the dentist for pain

Remembering my Dad

I spent this morning thinking of my father.
How do you honor your heroes if there are a million of them?
So my focus this day was my dad, who served with other good men in WW II.
One of his favorite things to do for his five children was to make
animal shaped pancakes. Usually mom, or one of my sisters would make the bulk of the breakfast ( at least as I recall) and dad would do a "guest spot"
on the griddle. His creativity was as genuine as his love for us.
The cooking of cakes shaped like bears, turtles, fish, and who knows what
were his delight, as he showed off for us and irritated my mom.
For ten years or more I have enjoyed making shapes with the batter
and delighting the next generation with this tradition.
I am not sure that I gave credit for where it came from until today.
Dad died when I was twenty four, and left a huge hole in my world.
It is still there, but I think I poured some golden batter into it today.

Here is my tribute to Robert L. Schmidt Sr. a good man, a loving father
and a fine craftsman: He claimed his mom could flip pancakes with a knife,
but nobody put more love into breakfast than he did!

I worked for hours to get this arch right,then the camera man tilted over! 

West African mumbo jumbo

Nigerian scam detecting 101:

DEAR,
THIS WILL COME AS ASURPRISE TO YOU AND I FOUND YOUR NAME ON A SEARCH OF BUSINESS RECORDS ON THE INTERNET. WANT TO PROPSE TAHT WE INVEST 15.5 MILLION NANO SECONDS TOBETHER TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHY AND WHO AND HOW CERTAIN PERSONS ARE USING MANY AVAILABLE MEANS AND MONSTROUS MODALITIES TO DEFRAUD UNSESPECTING PERSONS.
MY NAME IS HONEST AND TRUE, YOU CAN TRUST ME 101% AND SHOULD NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS TRANSACTION. HIGH CONFIDENTIAILITY AND UTTER FOLLISHNESS IS REQUIRED TO PULL THIS THROUGH, I AM HOPING TO BRING ALL 15.5 MILLION NANOSECONDS TO YOUR COUNTRY TO INVEST IN HIGH TECHNOLOGY, REAL ESTATE AND PORK BELLIES. I AM WANTING TO SHARE 30% WITH YOU AND 5% FOR EXPENSES AND 20% TO BRIBE THE PIGS (realtors)
YOU WILL KNOW IT IS ME BECUASE i WRITE IN ALL CAPS RARELY USE PRPOER ENGLISH AND NO PUNCTUALIZATION THE WRONG WORDS AND CANNOT ANSWER A STREIGHT QUISTION - OH YESS MY SPELLING IS BAD TWO.
hONOR ME WITH TRSUT- CASH MY FAKE CHECK OR MONEY ORDER AND DENS ME THE EXCESS FUNDS BY WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANDFER SO I CANM HAVE MY SHIPPER PICK UP THE (insert name of product) AS SOON AS POSSIBLE IT IS URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL
cONFIDENTIAL AND VERY IMPORTUNE
DO NOT DISCLOSE TO ANYONE, TEKLL NO POLICE, LAWTYERS JUDGES KINGS OR THE POPE.
GOD BLEES YOU AND USE THE PROCEEDS TO FILL YOUR FAT AMERICAN APPETITE YOU GREEDY CAPITALIST BASTARD!

Good kind of tired

I am too tired to write much,
but I should say to you
that I love life and my great family.
Pardon me when I am grumpy or short with you.
I bought a lot of stress for us
and the interest sometimes comes due at the worst times.
Can't see a vacation coming anytime soon.
I'll just have to tough it out for a bit.

and you think you have a headeache 

considering the worth of a post

Help me out, if you will.
Make me a better blogger (whatever that means!)
I am considering posting a letter from Nigeria
in the pursuit of laughter,
in the name of comedy.

I do not fear hurting West African feelings.
Nor is my concern for previous victims of these scams.
It may be that Nigerian scam letters are passe
So yesterday, we are so over that!

I am usually behind the trends but have been
"playing" with Nigerian scammers for at least a couple years.
My love for reading and writing is fed in a twisted way
by these communications, even though they are not real.
I got my latest Money Order / Cashiers Check yesterday.

So if you want to read the scam letter, or my sometimes abrasive
and sometimes indecipherable responses, I could post those.
Peace to all my readers, and double to 'commentators'.
Off to the project that grows larger every time I get near
a finishing point. The weekend looms!

Viola on the roof - Hannah making sweet music! 

Guest film reviewer- - - -JAYLEIGH!

Review of Movies I have not/will not see:

The latest Star Wars. (last, thank God! ed)
I think it's disturbing and frankly too graphic.
Even Lucas himself thinks that small children shouldn't see it.
Besides, it's the end of the SERIES!!!
What are they going to do to tie it all back together
so you feel good about liking it?

My darling hubby loves it.
He and his niece and his brother ADORE each of
the movies. I cannot tell you how they turn me off.
Remember Lea with sickeningly fat Jabba? *shudder*
Or the time that R2 and C3PO were gonna be
eaten by a giant earth worm in the ground? Ick.

And what the heck is up with Jar Jar? He talks purely in Ebonics. I think
it's a slam, frankly, and those writers should be more PC! Yeah, I said
MORE. P. C. Because that's what the world needs. Plus more Star Wars.

Yeah.
------------------------------------------------------

THANKS Jayleigh, for saving me from the attack of the nerds!
Who else wants to give this a shot?

I 'm looking for a smart woman in a real short skirt...

Jimmy Buffet should check out ANN!
http://www.anncoulter.com/

Jimmy Buffet - you did us right in Santa Barbara, dood!
What a fun concert!
Then you killed me with the videos of you
sailing your perfect sailboat!
That schlubs like me help you pay for such a craft is unthinkable.
Now I hate you.
See how that works!

I hope Ann Coulter never takes up sailing!

where my insanity came from

My son Oren writes:
Oldsmobile

So I was reading an article about how Oldsmobile is hurting in the sales department, and how they are struggling to refine their image to appeal to younger buyers. Here are a couple of ideas I had as sales incentives and promotions:

1. Give out a free tattoo with any purchase
2. Include a keg of Coors in the trunk
3. Make hydraulics optional for the Cho-lo consumer
4. Take the word "olds" out of the name
5. Replace with something fresh- hustlamobile, pimpmobile, thugmobile, shortymobile
6. Create "secret" compartments so that OG's can hide their stash from 5-0
7. Make the cars cheaper
8. Stop using "desperate housewives" to sell the car, the only people you will lure is "desperate retirement age fogies"
9. Use more original marketing lines like "your shawty b trippin in these dubs"
10. Fire Tiger Woods as spokesman, who does he appeal to? Old fat white golfers!
11. Hire Britney spears as spokeswoman, then you will have tons of guys looking like K Fae rolling down the street on 20's

posted by Oren Schmidt @ 9:15 PM


So you see I got my craziness the normal way, from my chilluns!

sheetrock is done, well done

Closet building, usually an afterthought in room design, has become a major focus of this room I am working on. The room changed purposes from a gallery/ display area, to a Master bedroom, and the rest of the house had one small closet, so - it was up to me, construction "Wizard of Ahhhs", to make a beautiful closet duet on either side of the west facing window. They will be like two towers (extra tall) with a high shelf connecting them over the window. The outside will be western red cedar, the inside (boring, cheap) drywall with my special "splatter" texture, with pine shelves and double poles for hanging all sorts of clothes, I suppose. I am having more fun, getting more satisfaction, and making more $ per day making this closet that I did in the framing stage of the project. I started just a month ago, and it is almost ready for pictures. My greatest joy is having a willing helper, Gary, who kicks butt every day, six days if needed, and never complains.

"Oh, no
Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money 'cause I just got paid
Now, how I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way "
Written by Sam Cooke

In the (purgatorious) waiting room

Waiting for the Doctor..... The doctor will see you,...... eventually.
My mom went to see a specialist today to check out her blurry vision after catarac surgery. For our 2:15pm appointment they asked us to be there by 1:45 because she was a new patient. The waiting room was crowded with eye problems that came in with their human hosts. Every human host had a driver ( myself) since they would be unsafe to drive after the exam.
Way past 3:00 we got to see a med tech, who put in drops and assesed mom's eye pressure. then back to the waiting room.
In silence we sat, no radio, no elevator muzac, the TV was off ( half the people had bad vision, no point in irritating them!)
I drew a roof framing plan and material list, and chatted with a woman next to me that decorated mini gourds with wood burning, paint and beads, as a way of distracting her from chronic pain ( she was a driver).
I lost some time there, but I know that I was looking at the time (no clocks in exam rooms!) at 4:15 - mom needed an aspirin, and a snack which the Med assistant provided, God bless her! By 4:30 she was looking to make a break, I think the Doc came in at 5pm ----- and was done in ten minutes. We were told that yes she had something that he specailized in, that a further test was needed, and that it was treatable after the test. We were relieved and hungry and went for dinner, with a return engagement in three weeks. I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!!!!!

WHaaaaaat?

The robin is busy lining her nest with the fibers from an old floor mop.
To be fair it may be HIS nest. I am not sure who does home building in 'Robin's world'. I know I build houses, and make some attempts at establishing a home base for my offspring.
Sometimes I even pick up stuff from other's yards for making my home more special.
Yes, I buy at yard sales, thrift shops and get lured in by the "FREE" sign on curbside discards.
Yesterday I picked up a surfboard (in sad shape) that had ended up here, more than a hundred miles from the ocean. It had a life once and an owner, then it had no life, no playing in the waves, no laying on the sand soaking up rays. :-(
Now it has a new owner ( or Guardian if you live in West Hollywood) and is looking for a new kind of exciting life.
Perhaps a new weird craze?
It wants to surf the mountains.

Robin is back, I should go cut some more strands from the sacrificial mop.
and work on my thinking process, I am out to lunch and its only 8:12 AM

Reviews of movies I will never see

What a concept: If Newsweek can run stories based on imaginary sources, if Dan Rather can try to undermine a presidential candidate with forged documents from a loon, if the Los Angeles times can ignore the significance of the invasion of the United States by an army of illegal aliens, then I can review movies that I have no intention of seeing.
J-Lo and J-Fo, Monster in Law.
It totally sucks and the only people who went to see it will probably take one of two responses if asked; Deny, deny, deny! ( the Clinton) or lie and say it was good so others will be subjected to the same pain and disappointment on the theory that shared pain is half as hard to bear.
The last time I liked Jennifer was in "Enough".
The last time I like Jane I was 14 and she had not been to Hanoi yet.
It is like gasoline, if people wopuld stop paying too much for crap, it would go away, and we would get atomic powered flying cars.
So stay home, park your gas hog for a week and rent the Jetsons movie on dvd to prepare for the new space age.
Drink cranberry juice, the cranberry pickers, who are mostly legal, thank you.

cher 

Marking time

Sunday and Monday blew by - I tried to start some thoughts but they were not fluent enough for your high standards. I shall ponder great things and return tonight - exhausted from the latest round of drywall mayhem, and flog the keyboard into some sort of sensical bloggery. Continue what you were doing, Please!

The Cher-est Show on earth!

Yes, I did go to the last Cher concert ever, April 30th at the Hollywood Bowl.
I am pretty sure I was not the only straight guy there, but it was hard to tell.
Cher is cool, and really can sing. Her voice was good, but I think she may have been tired. 335 farewell concerts will do that to you. I am glad she can go on and do some other things. Her fans are crazy, maniacs, so far gone you worry what they will do now that she is no longer touring. There must be some heavy hearts and sad faces out there.
I am sure some of them were standing there long after the lights came up, savoring the dying embers of a really hot entertainer. I felt like a sardine crammed into the bench seats, which have not grown to accomodate the wider fan base. If Americans keep eating, and failing to excercise, our public spaces will get more crowded. Never mind global warming, lets fight against global crowding due to bigger backsides.


I warned you I was crazy..... what about you?

You are cleared to post (comments)

Hi friends and family, stranges and strangers!
I just changed a setting that now allows ANYONE to post their comments here.
I have high hopes for an ongoing dialog - or at least some verbal jabs!
I can rant with the best of them but I am trying to stay positive.
I have huge biases (sp) and a blind spot or two, but then so do you.
I am enjoying life even though its challenging beyond what I would have asked for.
God must know I am capable of weathering the minor storms, and I appreciate his vote of confidence in me. As I get better at being a father, I can see how God's watchcare over us could work. While full of desire to "do it for them" and "jump in to protect them" I realize now, finally, that the learning of life comes by doing, and that growth comes by experience. Some of the experience is painful or at least unpleasant. (fill in your most unpleasant learning here by commenting) I am still learning and growing and I wish it for all of you. Don't drop out, or avoid the tough parts of your life. No amount of drugging or medication can get you to where you are meant to go. Live life to the fullest. Breathe so you can taste the air. See the beauty right outside your window.

coming attractions

Some things I may write about in the coming days:
Chickens, and eggs
Collecting Junk Cars.
Why hanging drywall is a pain!
the life of meaning,
Sunrise in the desert,
Childhood memories (last year)
How to get people to post comments on this blog!!!! Hint
good night, dreamland awaits me.

Needing a (tree) hug

It's got to happen.
As sure as I am a man, I am still a boy.
Every boy needs a tree house
My son is still young enough
that I can borrow his youthful exhuberance
to get me up 30 feet into a huge pine
and to build an observation platform.
After that, Lord willing, we will put on a roof
and walls to make it more comfy.
My beloved sister gave me a great book for Christmas
"Treehouses of the World".
A converstaion last Sunday
started the juices of design flowing in my head.
On top of all my other desires, I now add this:
" I will to build a house
in the biggest tree
on my mom's property,
this Summer!"
wow
That is step one.
let the drawing begin.

wither the Orange?

Oh the orange dies a magnificent death,
severed in two by a trusty blade.
Eviscerated by the juicer machine
its pulp set aside, the juice extracted.
Then the crowning blow, tequilaized!
and Iced to boot.
Down we go.

Mother's Day

I said to my son, "I am glad to not have to visit my Mom in the cemetery"
We were driving to church, and had to slow for someone coming out of Gold Mountain Memorial Park. I can't imagine not having my mom to visit, to care for, to lean on when I am wobbly.
As a father of three, I have been support for my beautiful children, and could not have done it without the love of my own family. Brothers and sisters are such a blessing, keeping us real, watching our back, filling in for us when we trip out.
I love being in a large family, and sensing the "togetherness" as we live our days in this chaotic world.
Children, take care of your parents. Brothers, care for your sister. Sisters. love your brothers, even when they are weird, and don't be afraid to tell them when they are being "a jerk". Society is you, family. Don't let the "world" tell you you are obsolete.

Empty nest syndrome

I saw something new today. A young squirrel had fallen out of a tree and was dazed on a stairway where I am working. His mother or father was nearby and yelling at me to stay away. I backed off since you never know what a maternal squirrel will do. This youngster was really barely moving when I first came upon him. The nest is sixty or seventy feet up, so he may have fallen that far, its hard to say. Well, momma/ daddy ran around for a while as "junior" got his head back together, and he slowly reached off the stair toward the tree trunk. He got a grip, literaly, and headed up a few feet at a time with his parental unit ten feet or so above him. This was " get back on the horse after the fall" time. I am sure he will not need a long lecture on looking where you are going.
Unless it was not an accident.
What if he did not FALL?
Maybe his sibling pushed him out in a dispute over quality (nursing) time with mom?
No better way to increase your chances of survival than to see that a competitor has an early exit from the nest. How would the brother/sister react as the groggy, 'bump on head', junior returns?
More on this developing story later, as I seek to interview the neighbors, and see if there have been any domestic squabbling lately.
Nutty story, yes?

Snow falling on barbeque

I think a new dish needs to be created for Mother's day in the mountains.
Something marking the Winter/Summer effect.
Yesterday morning I was roofing with no shirt and getting good rays.
This morning it is below 34 degrees and light snow falling
My recipe could be Iced Chicken wings or
Baby back popscicles.
I am insane, which helps you to look "normal", so be thankful.
My tomatoes growing near my windowsill were unaffected by the freeze.
The Tulips in the yard will likely do just fine.
Time to light a fire in the woodstove...... a pure pleasure!

learn to negotiate with women

I need to learn the negotiation art or science, especially
when it comes to weird wacko women (I hope she is not reading this)
I must learn how to overcome the IHM blockage.
IHM causes her to imagine that everything I am trying to do
is aimed at showing how powerful I am and how weak (and stupid) she is.
IHM - gives her no peace and much anxiety.
"I hate men!" but I need one once in a while,
I hate men, but there are some things they can do (build, tear down, hammer nails)
I hate men, but they control the world, so I will use my sexiness to control them
( that last one made ME laugh)
well - I continue to resist her control ( pointless, I am now a robot)
and to hammer, saw and paint my way to sanity. ( a long road)