Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Reviews of movies I will never see

What a concept: If Newsweek can run stories based on imaginary sources, if Dan Rather can try to undermine a presidential candidate with forged documents from a loon, if the Los Angeles times can ignore the significance of the invasion of the United States by an army of illegal aliens, then I can review movies that I have no intention of seeing.
J-Lo and J-Fo, Monster in Law.
It totally sucks and the only people who went to see it will probably take one of two responses if asked; Deny, deny, deny! ( the Clinton) or lie and say it was good so others will be subjected to the same pain and disappointment on the theory that shared pain is half as hard to bear.
The last time I liked Jennifer was in "Enough".
The last time I like Jane I was 14 and she had not been to Hanoi yet.
It is like gasoline, if people wopuld stop paying too much for crap, it would go away, and we would get atomic powered flying cars.
So stay home, park your gas hog for a week and rent the Jetsons movie on dvd to prepare for the new space age.
Drink cranberry juice, the cranberry pickers, who are mostly legal, thank you.

2 comments:

Esther said...

GREAT post, David. And I haven't seen Monster-in-Law and won't -- but I agree -- it sucked! And I never liked Jennifer, who is a MAJOR pain in the ass (and I speak from experience).

Jayleigh said...

David, I ADORE this post!

I don't like J-Fo either. J-Lo is a laughingstock, so she's getting what she deserves, imho.

Thanks for your comment on my blog. How'd you find it, btw?

My sister's bf lives in San Fran area. I've never been to Cali, but I'd like to some day!