First thing I recall in my life

I am short
incredibly short
I am the shortest person in my family.
Thankfully no one makes fun of this
and I am very comfortable with my place in the world.

I am also the youngest, except for the dog.
Come to think of it the dog is shorter than I am. Yes!

I am four years old and a big change has come to our family
We have moved from the house on Valerio St to the
brand new three bedroom, two bath house on Allott Ave.
I am exploring the back yard which us still rather bare
as my parents will spend the next years landscaping it themselves.
A pair of old pepper trees are in one corner, later Dad will build us the best
tree house EVER, around one of these trees.
In the other corner I am looking up at the top of the fence and four fingers
come over the top, gripping tightly as a small boy pulls himself up
to see who and what is going on in the new place.
I do not remember his face.
Just the fingers, the hand.
the surprise in my childs mind that a fence
which holds us in, and holds the world at bay
also has its limits.
Someone was tall enough and strong enough to
climb that fence, in order to see and be seen
to say hello, and try to make a new friend.

The little boy in me is now perched on this new fence
inviting you into my world, happy to share a day in the sun
and a cool afternoon under the shade trees with some of mom's lemonade.
Come on over friend,
but be careful you don't get a splinter in your rear end.

Coffee: The mother's milk of journalism

Coffee
What is it about this bean
a humble seed, wrapped in red
that has some secret life inside it.

Bake it, crush it and give it a hot bath
and the magic seeps out into your cup.
Pour the black brew
and the smell attacks your sleepiness
and triggers your happiest memories.

Feel the warmth of the cup
and winter melts away
held at bay by steam rising

Hand a steaming mug to a friend
and share the heat, the soothe, the passion
Give a cup to an enemy
and maybe mend a fence.

When in Hawaii, drink the Kona
but don't go to Turkey for decaf.
If you come to my house I make it strong
one cup at a time.
Plenty of room in the cup for milk
if you like it.
Take a seat in a chair, just move the books aside.
We will talk or listen to Jesus Christ on the radio.

I love my coffee, first thing every day
almost as much as I love the people
who read me and write for me all across
this fruited plain.
God bless America and keep the Kona coming!

'Ode to bean' continues in the comments
even tea drinkers are welcome.

The one ( of five) that got away !! 

Showdown up high!

I was face to face with the EVIL critters.
I was there to throw them out and they were
acting like I was the intruder.
I had them when it came to tools, I brought my 32 foot extension ladder,
( never mind that they don't need one)
I had my cordless screw gun, which proved worthless,
I had a flashlight so I could see in the dark just like they can.
I brought out my Skilsaw, tool bags and some plywood.
They showed me their sharp teeth and claws and said "we go wherever the hell we want".
Indeed it seemed like they had been going wherever they wanted because the corner of the roof was a veritable latrine, without the toilet paper.
What barbarians!
The inhumanty of it all!
The poopiness!
The sheer filth that they spewed, it was worse that an MTV awards show!

Anyway - I boarded up the space where they were crawling into the eaves,
and chased them all over the property because I could.
I set a Havahart trap baited with my irresisitable PB&J sangwhich.
I watched some of the Dodgers losing to the Rockies.
Waited for the trap to catch me something snarling and nasty,
pure rage in a fur coat, ( no not your Ex wife!)
Twice the door went down, and twice the beast escaped, the second time with half of my sandwich bait. I was hungry, should I chance the beast eating this yummy snack or should I go for it? but then how would I get out of the trap? I was smarter than the lowly animal, and resisted the temptation ( only until I got home). He was already home and he will hopefully find my offering so irresistable that when I return in the morning, he or she will be waiting for me.
If not I will bring out bigger tools and more clever tactics.
"Oh no, Mr. Bill not the steam roller!"
Hmm, racoon rugs????

I go small town!! woohoo

I got two mentions in a small town blog Fawnskin Flyer
and the Editor was nice enough to link me, so I am making it a complete circle so people can just keep clicking. im a few articles down so search for anything with squirrels in it.

I do want to put my writing to use someday, and consider blogging a way to tune it up.
I really need a new Keyboard ( and someday I need to learn touch typing)

Go somewhere else for news and commentary!

First, Please read my prior post
It is more important than this.

*********** I'll wait..............***********

Ok welcome back.
I normally don't refer you to columnist more powerful than I,
since I am insecure and fear you will like them better than me.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Ok that is a lie, since all columnists are more widely read than I
and rightly so. So if I refer you to anyone, I am taking that risk.
So here goes nothin'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman who is getting a lot of ( undeserved) attention in the press
gets a shellacing from my favorite Ann Coulter
Read it if you like far right ( as in extremely correct) common sense.

A note to American citizens. That is what we are: American.
There is nothing wrong with that. The last thing we need is
to dilute our values and beliefs so that the whole world will agree with us.
The other last thing we need to do is be reborn into Euro-socialists.
The reason we LEFT europe was that they had a crappy system of government
that was good for a very few and bad for almost everyone else. Hmmm, Sounds like Afganistan under the Taliban, or most of West Africa.

Wow - I do politics too! just not very often.
Aren't you glad???

Keeping track of ( some) of the bad guys

I read the sex offender registry web site periodically
and maybe I should look more often.
For Calif they make it easy with Megan's Law
A friend alerted me to an offender on my street
but not nearby, and I began reviewing the list
to see if I knew any of these people.

Of course I don't know any sex offenders!
That is what I thought.
But I do. YOu might
and now it bothers me that you can't tell from
the appearance, the speech, the "feeling" you get
about a certain person.

The WORST thing about the web site listiings
is the false sense of security they may give if
you see that your neighborhood has no "offenders" listed.
Here is the problem.
They have not all been caught
and some who were did not get convicted.
Even if convicted, served time, and are out now
they may not be living where they are registered.

So review these sites
and then guard your children and teach them as if
there was one on every corner,
because there might be.

Wow, I did that whole post and never called them perverts! Cool.

before we went to work on this bathroom, bad walls, rusty tub, orange shag carpet, boring and old!!!  

so cool up here

tonight the temp is 52
and clear skys - big stars and
lots of moon.
good weather for sleeping
and since I am flat out tired
that is what I will go do

sign me up

I just joined Christian writers dot com
to continue to feed my need to write
and to learn and be taught.
Thanks to my readers, I will redouble my efforts to
give quality post on a regular basis.
( in other words I'll write whatever drivel comes to mind
whenever I get a roundtoit).

See ya!

free verse, no rhyme zone

physical work
heavy - and regular - can yield happiness
( or so I have been told)

I moved a big pile of gravel once and was happy doing it
But I would have been happy doing anything those days.
I was living in the mountains
after fleeing the city
See " true tale" from July 9th post
for the city I fled and why.

I cut firewood to burn but have a great time doing it
it's a guy thing - an expensive toy that qualifies as a tool
and makes a hella noise. thats a perfect way to zone out

I like heavy lifting, but would never go near a gym
( sorry arnold)
I like breaking concrete, pouring concrete,
and polishing concrete. all these exhaust me
but I feel good knowing my body still works at this level
at my advanced age

best of all , it seems to me
is that the use of your muscles shuts off most of your brain
( tom cruise will tell me this is not so)
so you just concentrate on the lifting
the climbing, the use of your strength
and forget about all the crap that assails you when you relax

Yep that IS the problem with down time
all the overdue stuff comes to call
ringing the doorbell of your brains anxiety center
and dragging in all that smelly manure on their dirty feet

so I am giving little room for the monsters lurking
in the recesses of my head to voice their potent puke.
I'm working myself til I can't stand up
then I will fall down into bed and sleep
when I get up I will try again
to catch a wave of momentum and propel
myself through another day's work.

It this does not give you a headache, nothing will
sorry for unloading
but there it is

maybe later I will edit it

Lame Haiku

blank space

staring back at me

writers nightmare

That' a BEEG saw, and a BEEG log of Eucalyptus. plenty of firewood, after I get done cutting it, splitting ot and stacking it. 

My day off

Oh yeah, I wished I went to work yesterday.
I went to the dentist and had a tooth pulled.
( I just lost half of the readers, I know)

Maybe I should not tell you about it.
I could tell you of someone elses pain and suffering.

I should just suck it up, my pain was self inflicted
and I have no right to whine.

I should commend the small Indian woman doctor
who wrestled with my tooth for TWO HOURS.
The three different assistants who stood by quietly,
the one who tried to tell the Dr how it was done.
The other Dr who came in at the end and seemed to be a big boost
to the confidence of the original tooth wrestler.
After a whole lot of cutting and grinding, the bottom half
of the tooth was in my mouth, the top piece being broken off and in the tray.

I could hear the nervousness and strain in the formerly quiet Dr.'s voice.
She worked so hard on this thing I should send her flowers.
I'm sure she thinks I hate her. I do not.
I hate my teeth going bad on me, and not being able to afford
the expensive repairs they need now.
Thank God I am not afraid of needles, drills,
power saws and jack hammers.
I could endure anything they used on me
I proved that to myself, yesterday.

I prayed, I cursed, it all sounded the same with the suction
and tools in my mouth. I wondered if I would die from the stress.
Good thing I have a strong heart, and a mind that can bend the worst
scenarios into something bearable.
Thanks for those who prayed, the healing of the gum is happening now.
My work is still waiting for me, so I better get out of this chair.
My prescription for today is warm salt water rinses
and Amoxicillin, and soft foods.

I am happy to report that unlike the other young patients
I did not cry.

weird world

album of photos
have you seen this rabbit on the net? his name is Oolong, he lived in Japan and liked to be photographed w stuff stacked on his head. I want one of those cookies.

Blogomation

Blog I may and blog I must

its a truth, in blog we trust.

Blog the trees, as they sway

Blog the night and then the day.

Bloggers dream and then interpret

all the readers read and then fret;

"will this blog go on for long

or be just one more too short song?"


Writing is a passion, tis true

and those who have it, that's what we do.

Reading can be a wonderful pastime

but what to do if the next chapter won't appear?

Well you call up the author

and give him or her a kick in the rear!


"Hey get out of your funk, get happy fergawdsake!

Write us something funny, its a piece of cake"

"Never ming your stalling and lame excuses

and please stop writing about all your boyfriend's abuses."


So here it goes, my reading friends

a trip into blogland, a means to the ends.

What started as hobby and somehow just grew

Now what I write does not matter, just that I do.

If your read this or not I can not tell

In the balance hangs neither your heaven or hell

As we grow in our knowledge and how fast we can go

its nice to sit typing so agonizingly slow

My mind is kept busy, I find some peace

in trying, these thoughts, inside, to release.


That's it for today, I'm done you my best

have yourself some coffee, a stretch and a rest

cause its your turn now to entertain me

The comment below is now mandatory, no reading for free!

Bulletin from behind the bar

Holding the judge with the bailiff's weapon.
No one gets out til we get an apology from the CHP officer who started this.
The court clerk peed in her pants when I stole her blackberry to send this.
Court reporter has a nail appointment so I let her go.
Send 2 pizzas (pepperoni) and keys to the lock up
We are letting some of the good ole boys out for a last night on the town.
Judge requests a gin and tonic, make that a double.

Bailiff wants his gun back, hahahhahaha

Here come da Judge...

I am off to my second trip to juvenile traffic court
the first one was 33 years ago
this time I go as parent/ guardian /advocate.

Seems my son grazed an old lady who was pushing a stroller
Which is no big deal, unless it is a sheriff's wife and the judges grandson.
Here is my legal strategy.
We dress well.
We look sober.
We smell clean.

(see I am way ahead already)

If that does not work - plan B.
Plead "whocares!"
and Run out the door.

its always good to give the fat bailiff some excercise

See you on the evening news....

you only turn 50 once 

with apologies

I am sorry folks, today I am unable to write.
That is I can't write anything that is "readable".
If you want dark interior portraits
or lengthy laments of unhappiness
there are college students that can
tell you how tough life is.
I won't write any more of that this month.
I have some serious work to do.

P.S. The tree house was badly flooded
keeping me from rushing in to
what may have been a huge mistake.
I'm coining the phrase,
"I like my mold to stay in the fridge thank you"

The bind that ties

when I sit here
my keyboard under shaking hands
I have freedom
free to write about anything or nothing
to disclose if I wish
or to cover pain with humor
my hands are free
but my mind is not
cornered in a space of my own creation
caged behind bars that I forged over the years
I made my world
now I live in it.
I will not die from this
nor lose my sense of self
but pain is real
and the salve is not at hand
to cool the burn of the lash
I have hit myself again and again
and then when I stop I think I will feel better
I am empty, alone and afraid
This too is good
all the loss makes me realize what good I had
what blessings
what comfort
now to find a place of solace, peace, energy

Driving the freeway

Southern California is defined by its freeways. Period
Not the beaches, not the mountains that I love.
It is not defined by the big cities or the small quaint towns,
nor by the huge agribusinesses and entreprenurial spirit.

When you go somewhere or are looking for someone,
its the freeways you have to deal with first, and most of them are crap.
There used to be a rush hour, now its a rush twelve hours.
Usually from 6 am til 6pm you can figure on horrendous traffic jams wherever you wanted to go, and stupid drivers who go too fast, follow too close and talk on their phones too much.

On my recent vacation I drove a lot, on six freeways going and on five coming home plus one blessed highway. We, however, did not see much traffic since our departure time was well after the rush twelve hours. Our car zoomed through the worst areas of congestion with hardly a tap of the brakes, getting great mileage and spewing hardly any deadly greenhouse gases.
The many lanes they keep adding for daytime drivers makes night passages a breeze for crazy guys like me. At midnight I needed a shot of love ( bob dylan) so I got gas for the car and cappucino for me.
I was tired by 1 am, but not near as tired as the manager at the SHORES INN in Ventura. He was tough to wake up! I called, I rang the bell, I finally resorted to saying "HELLO!" through the open window of his unit. 15 minutes to get this guy to turn on the lights.
I am obnoxious, yes, but paying for the priveledge. He wants to be in the hotel business and have a limit on what times guests can arrive. anyway, to his credit he does not curse me aloud, but tells me clearly that he "does not work nights" and is moving very slowly with his eyes half shut. His complaining that he gets no sleep is lost on me who thrives on five to six hours a day.
Plus, this guy is in his thirties (maybe)! He should be full of energy. I mistook him for the owner of the establishment, it seems to me now that he was not, for he did not have the look of an owner, nor did his wife have a bindi on her forehead.
( I lost my freeway thing, better take the next exit, merging to the right>>>>>>
there I go down the offramp ~~~~~~ )

Telling it backwards - or not

I can't post this backwards, too hard on myself and on my beloved readers
I dare not tread on your voluntary submission to my quirkiness.

Here is stage one of the fix.
Theme: Why we always leave so late to go on vacation.

Its nice to IMAGINE yourself arriving at your destination in time to unpack, see the sun go down and have a nice dinner before falling into bed early so that the first full day of your vacation begins with you rested.

The reality is that everything in the universe hates a vacuum of work and will try to fill your last day at work with as much crap as possible. You also are your worst enemy at this moment, as you remember everything you put off for weeks that CAN NOT wait two more days. Unpaid bills get into the act, as do cleaning of the car so you can actually fit people in next to you. Please take extra time packing the seven outfits you won't wear, and forget to pack shoes, then spend your vacation in fuzzy Duck slippers.

I knew from the start that this would be a late start, so I worked til 4pm, figuring on leaving between six and seven pm for a three hour drive, and that lateness would save me time as traffic would diminish. ha ha ha ha
At ten minutes til nine I was grilling chicken for lunch the next day, not on a hotel BBQ but here, with "stops" to make piling up faster than my son's dirty laundry. Drop off this, pick up that, find this person, pay the electric bill....
You know I am only telling you all this since I stayed cool, figured I was getting a vacation and only had to do the driving which I am good at, and that my companion, friend and gift giver would sleep like a baby as we made our westward journey to the seaside town of San Beunaventura.
************************************************************************

end of post - do not read further - because this part comes later OK?


My vacation in reverse order:

And then we drove into the driveway, tired and happy to be home
in the beautiful mountains.
It was midnight, the street was deserted.
We dashed from the casino before the slots could grab our last few dollars.
Ike Turner was walking in front of us with his Barbie proportioned blonde escort.
The concert was finishing up and Gail was very tired, so we left before the final song.
(I wonder how long I can keep this up)
The treat of the evening was Kenny Wayne Shepherd web site playing a perfect version of Voodoo Child by my favorite guitarist Jimi Hendrix. UNBELIEVABLE, I cried!
BB King blues festival was so much fun - Thanks Nancy for scoring the excellent seats

Three hour drive from Ventura to Redlands, 1 hour at least of intense conversation.
Shopping on Main street for used books, and just having fun being away from home.
Super luxury of napping in the middle of the day.
Sleeping in late and watching Today, with Katie in a really UGLY outfit.

more later ( I know I am nuts, so dont even say it)

this is my brain - on "no stress", my feet on "no shoes" , and my soul on vacation 

We seem very close

I think we are getting the "tree house" that I
am interested in, My realtor has a counter offer for us to look at
( what a lovely present) It will cost me more per month for less
space, but I will be making payments on my own place.
Now I just need to work smarter.
Thank you for all your continuing prayers.
For those of you not in Calif I will do a cost per square foot
analysis in a later post.
Now off to the beach!!!
No blogging or email for two days :-(
Sun and fun! :-)

tri tip  

I'm going to read now

I am going to get comfy on the couch and read till my eyes close
I am onto a good book that may help me
and YOU ALL KNOW how I need help.
So instead of writing about terrible drivers,
beautiful cloud formations, putting an offer in on the tree house, I will read
about me and what makes me tick.

If you think the recent stuff is too sad go through the archives.
May I suggest May? I just did.
June did not have too much gloom.
and we still need submissions for
movie reviews of pictures you never have seen
( the purpose of which is to keep others from wasting their time and $)
links to mold pictures are welcome as Johan and I may do a joint venture.
If any of you won the lottery, please consider sharing so I can get into my new tree house and blog from a new point of view. You know I would share, in fact, ten thousand future winning dollars to the best comment posted.
The sun is setting and casting rays across my keyboard
my hands are quite amazing tools, Thank you God for the gift of working fingers!

Vacation on the horizon.....

Just when you thought you would never make it to Friday
much less to Labor day.
When your busy mind can think of no more tricks to play
on your tired body and sagging spirits.
As the tolls add up for driving too far too fast
and you have no coins to pay at the booth, there appears an exit sign
on the Expressway of daily life.

I am turning 50 this week - and not too weirded out by it (denial).
I am a half century old, as I quipped to my dear old dad at this point in his life.
He took it well I think, at least he did not hit me.
I was fourteen then, and full of smart sayings, but still a good kid ( false memory).
He and I were close, and I never doubted him or his love for me.
For an old guy he was reasonably cool, we camped and hiked together for
hundreds of miles. He was good as gold, and set the pattern for my parenting style.

We are very different of course, since we encountered such different worlds as we developed. I in the stupid seventies, he in the era defined by the World War.
He picked up his college education in bits and pieces, I blew mine to bits.
We share a lot of the distractedness that makes your family shake their heads
and makes a spouse pull their hair. I was ADD before add was cool.
Dad had depressive times, but did his best to cope and cover these.
There was not the awareness or literature or plethora of drugs that help so many these days.
I only understood him as I became him. Now I love him more for the added knowledge.

So what about the vacation, you say
( bothersome readers expecting continuity!) ?
It happens that a friend to whom I gave the caring advice "you need a vacation!" thought that I was right, and that I needed one too. So we are going.
Close by California standards, the beach is far enough away to feel like paradise.
Three hours of driving will yield two full days of relaxation.
To be sure we don't relax completely, there is a day trip to Santa Barbara Island, with a sea kayaking tour. Yes I am very excited. I love the ocean, and I love paddling.
To have this much gift presented was quite overwhelming.
Its way more than I expect, or deserve, but the timing is perfect
and a chance to recharge in the midst of our hot humid summer
by spending some time at the cool misty beach is so valuable.

I am older tommorow, Tuesday, but I promise not to act like it
I most certainly will not feel it while I am laying on the sandy beach
or chasing otters in my kayak.

Oh, the love of a friend
The caring of a close companion
the gift of time well spent
together, and apart.
quiet peace and nature.
Harmony