friday fidget

I had a great walk the other night - it was late when there were few cars out and even less people.
Only a few dogs barked at me as I walked the empty streets under a star-filled sky.
I found something about walking that was neat: you think different thoughts that when you are driving. Take for instance I never looked at my fuel gauge and thought about how soon I would need to fill up and how it costs WAY too much to do so.

As I walked I noticed the feeling in my legs ( ouch) of stretching muscles and felt the warmth generated by the burning of calories. I noticed this most on slight uphill slopes. I could hear my breathing and the chirping of bats that flew overhead collecting insects.

I thought about my life, and how it's going, and that I seem more in control than I can recall in the recent past. ( This delusion could be from the strain of walking ) maybe its not MY control that I am sensing so much as my tuning in to the concept of order. Happy Friday!

Night watchman

Edward slept in his work clothes, the Remington Wingmaster 12 guage rested near his left hand and three shells were in the pocket of his jeans. Mildly uncomfortable on a strange bed, but strangely at ease in the dark, and with the thought that an angry man may walk through the front door. It would be up to the shotgun and himself to see that the 'bad guy' did no harm and was made to answer for the crime of breaking and entering. while he is not sure if his anger is hot enough to shoot this man, clearly he will defend self and this home if needed and be sure to subdue the lowlife until the police arrive.
To his surprise he sleeps deeply, and woke once or twice in the strange room to what seemed to be a sound at the door. Waiting in silence, hoping to determine if that sound was real or imagined. No more noises, no night creeping creep.
It's colder now so Edward adjusts a cover, resuming his watch, through closed eyes.
The dog will alert on any sound or nearby motion, so he dozes again, waking as dawns first grey streaks push back the night and reveal a calm both inside and out. He leaves now, happy that on this night he saw nothing, never had to load the gun, and yet accomplished his purpose.

Slay me!

Can the words of Paul, formerly Saul of Tarsus still speak for God to his people today?

I urge you bretheren,
by the mercies of God,
to present your bodies
a living and holy sacrifice,
acceptable to God...

Rom 12-1

That was enough for me to sit up and take notice. I felt that again God wanted me to hear this with not just my ears, but within my heart. I contemplated it all day Sunday, and I am still working through what it means to me to be living, and holy and offered to God.


The novel of England that I am reading, Sarum,
has plenty of sacrifices in it, druid, pagan; animal and human.
None of them end up living sacrifices.
They seem in large part anything but holy.
Sometime the druid priests would select criminals for execution.


Does God want me, my self, my body?
Hard to understand, but it is possible.
God owned me before I knew His name and now much moreso since I accepted His son as my Lord. My belonging to Him is a fact of creation and a result of yielding my will.

Why would the writer, Paul, tell believers to offer their bodies?
I readily admit that I don't know. yet I want to understand this.
Why not offer God our minds? Think holy thoughts, contemplate His greatness all day.
I think our minds are too easy to give and too easily deceived.
Where we live, daily, is in our bodies; in the pain and the pleasure, in the feast and the famine.
I want my living to be closer to the holy that God deserves from me.
I dedicate my arms and legs, my eyes and ears, my strength and weakness to the purpose of giving glory to the Father of all. It is what I am meant to do, and what I am designed to be.
I think.

tribute 2996 - coming soon

I am honored to participate in the 2996 blogs of tribute to the fallen of September 11 on the anniversary - I was asssigned a name of a man to write a tribute about, and I will be putting that together in the coming months. You can join too, just send me an email or comment and I will link you up. or you can Google 2996 its not far down the list.

I am finding a new joy in hearing from God and in church this Sunday He was very clear in using Romans 12:1 to 8 to help me see what was needing changed in my life.


I hope to be faithful to the message and to the God who sent it.
Pray for me.

Project China 2006

Project China 2006
the Music director from out church posts are about the current trip to China.

Fears - what is this

Fear:
it crops up from time to time
to challenge my normal quietude
In my heart and based on God's promises I know I will never be wanting
fear of starving to death is not the issue, fear of always being under this sort of pressure is.

In God's family I have acceptance, love, and a place to contribute
I just fear that I am not enough like the other children to belong
its this sort of fear that is irrational, yet real

I wasted a lot of my younger years, I wasted some of my middle years
I don't think it would be smart to waste any more time.
I need to figure some things out and be SURE this time.

I like my life, and yet I know there is more
I liked my 50th year, with all the ups and downs
and the arrival of summer has me in a good place
with many opportunities to grow in trust and
to practice decision making not based on fear.

bug zapping time again

living near a meadow -
with plenty of water
its time to KILL kill kill!
send the mosquitos to the hungry toads feeding under this beautiful light. 

Wordless wednesday

you write the caption
I can be any of the elements -
crowd, plane, seat, pilot or sky in which this takes place. Have fun folks! 

Shed

its not a good pisture
but it is one HECK of a shed

If I lose my place to stay
I can move in here.....

the owners will stain it to match the house

no nettie, no indoor plumbing!

I worked only til six tonight finishng this so I could save time to start fixing up the sailboat.
Now its dark, i will read for a while before falling out.

trash can enclosure

by me

not the design, just the execution 

boat

14 foot Lido
mine
all mine

with no payments
or slip fees
and when the state of calif asks
for their money
I will say
go fly a spinaker!

I am happy - Today is a good day 

Sharing the dream

the fuzziness here represents a dream of mine:
to go sailing, with an able first mate toward the horizon of middle age ( I am going to live forever) with a fair wind on the beam and the sun on my back, with a spray off the bow wake to cool me on the hot summer day. 

waxing poetic

My feet - by Henry Gibson.

My feet are neat
I really think so

to have a pair
to carry me here
and there

Size thirteen
what ever does that mean?
Now clean
Bathed in parafin
relaxin'

Hard work they do
carrying tools and boards, concrete, rocks
and my 200# too

Early on a saturday I sit and write

I was able to finish two significant Jobs ( contracts) yesterday
and the feeling was so good that I went on to work on the
"bomb shelter" shed until just before dark, way after sunset,
when the air is perfect and still, the cooling effect of the high altitude takes effect
and Life is just plain good. I call it a bomb shelter because of its concrete slab foundation and extra sturdy roof. Since it is located on the north side ( shady) of this house we expect it to carry a lot of snow and ice. Its built well.

Now I can get back to another job that I had to 'back burner' this week.
a large fence project that encloses a lot that some clients have purchased next to their cabin.
by Sunday I should be ready to decide to buy or not buy a project sailboat needing much woodwork / varnish. I need a hobby, and something to do besides work. I am just not sure this is the boat to start my sailing up again. Its made by Shock, a 14 footer, on a trailer, so I could take it anywhere, though my own lake is an excellent sailing lake.

For now I am reading my novels, making coffee and enjoying a fresh donut.

Life is just plain, or maybe glazed, GOOD , with occasional Jelly squirting in my face.

"Muskrat Love"

was that a terrible song or what? ( click for lyrics)

well I am trying to make coffee and do a few dishes that my teenagers must have overlooked in their attempts at cleaning the house before their mom gets home from florida.

I am sponging off the counter top next to the stove top that I cleaned last night ( with help from 'the recovering from her head wound' Hannah) and throwing out stuff from the fridge that had gone bad in the last two weeks. I glance out the window and there they are, all decked out in their finest grey and white furs, doing it ( uggh) in my back yard. why me? why right there? why in June?
My back yard looks like a cross of Animal Planet and the Playboy channel, with a little WWF wrestling thrown in. These are young squirrels, just experimenting, clearly too much babies themselves to be properly prepared to be parents so soon.
On a happier note: there are so many baby bunnies this year. I see them all over. I heard the stork brings them, is that true?
well back to the dishes, and "Rodents Gone Wild!"

have a happy hump day!

my view toward Colorado

 

Rolling down the rocky slope

NEWS: (which I hardly ever put here)

Hannah (daughter 15yrs old) had a off-road accident.
While riding on the back of a quad
she and her friend went off the trail and down a very steep
incline, rolling and bouncing and losing her helmet on the way
she cut her scalp above the hairline, and has major 'road rash' several places
and was showing signs of a concussion, but is feeling much better today
Signs of 'much better': she is upset I am keeping her home from church.
her friend took a harder fall and broke her wrist ( likely)
and a lower vertebrae ( is that a tailbone?)
Both of them are very sore, and very lucky!
dad came through it alright, with some help from caring friends that
kept me from being too angry for too long.

But:
I DO HATE QUADS AND ATC's
because
they hurt and kill too many kids, with hardly any restrictions on who can ride them and required equipment. see I am still a bit PO'ed

Doctor my eyes - help me if you can.

Thanks to Jackson Brown for today's title - not sure what to do with it, here but I will try my best to use it as a springboard.

My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord in the shafts of silver sunlight streaming down from pewter clouds. It is a sight that never fails to make me ask Him, "when, Lord are you returning for your people?"

My eyes have also seen so much sadness, the tears of a child, as fear or pain takes away their natural joy. ( yes I believe JOY was meant to be our natural state) When you are sad I am sad too, for my world is about you. If I were alone that is not a world, that is a prison and I can not return there. I am in the world to beautify the world and there is no greater beauty than a happy face, a contented soul, a spirit free from worry, doubt, fear. Where I can, I will sow seeds of security, and say words of blessing and comfort, for the world is sorely lacking such.

My eyes have stared into a wall and seen nothing, remaining out of focus, so as to let the mind wander and release all the cares that were buzzing about my head like a swarm of bees on a field of flowers in the heat of summer.

My eyes when I die will be donated for use by another, for I believe the gift of sight is precious beyond valuation. My father's eyes were donated, and I hope that what they saw after he stopped using them was beauty, and a smiling face.

Earth man

I am a man of the soil
I love rocks and dirt and Garden things
Making a rock wall, or a backyard pond,
copying things from natures examples makes me feel connected to my world.

------------------------------
i started this a whil ago

then this week I went wild with work
and accopmlished a lot
Thanks to the crew !

we had a nice thunderstorm/ downpour
I found a sailboat I want to buy
and the this afternoon we have a big fire burning to the east of us
well - its never boring anyway

sorry for not posting sooner
much kindness - and good wishes to you all

The Shrink is BACK in!

Ok my turn to analyze you.

You are reading this for one of two reasons: You are crazy or you think I am.
I am also psychic so I know a lot about you: You are male, or perhaps female.
You are in a relationship or you are happy, one of you is both.
if you are crazy, female and happy, and reading this then my analysis that follows will surely offend or attack your senses due to its simplicity and lack of subtlety. So be it.
I am not a doctor, and I do not even have a white coat, yet i have some experience with life these fifty years.
If I am crazy, you are male and happily deluded into thinking you are happy, you will need to read elsewhere for psychological help. My insights today are for the weaker sex. ( ouch, put down that rolling pin!)
According to a source I have near the white house, who wishes to remain anonymous there are at least two different types of women:
there is the lying, controlling, deceiving, back stabbing, don't get in my way type, only out for herself. She tries to manipulate and control her man but is hard at work convincing the world that she is really loving her man. ( harsh- but thankfully NOT my words)
my source alows that there is also a woman who is "gracious, fun-loving, nurturing and caring, who knows in her heart that she is precious to only one and does not have to prove it to anyone. She lives by example."
I admit I would like to see more of these types in the world.

I have yet to say I agree with this dichotomy, even if I have seen it around me. Every time we try to boil down human relationships we lose something in the cooking process, but we may gain as well.
Here is where I am at this moment: truth or dare time!
I do not like being manipulated, yet have been many times in the past.
I do not like being controlled, but have given up control too often through my own lack of initiative and internal weakness. Today I am choosing to be responsible for my own life, health and wholeness.
Manipulation and control are not tools given to help woman overcome their "beneath men- natural status" It seems it is a trick of Satan himself and all his minions to create chaos in the human race and family so that he could work his evil on the children of these unions. When men are not a strong presence in the home the child is more likely to go astray ( which of you would like to disagree with that one statement from personal experience?) - I am not allowing men to be abusive or dictatorial, cruel or aloof, they need to be strong in a positive way, helpful to their families, and caring about ONLY what brings about good in the lives they are entrusted to guard.

I will take a whole new post to work on my men theory, but there you have a 'tidbit from the trenches' from the sicko doctor to the unstars. Me myself and I in my attic room - bloggin away on a Saturday.
Thanks for reading, double for your comments!
Link to me and I will do a somersault!
I am working today on a stone wall nearby and musing on the nature of man and woman.