These old patio pavers were reset and look so much better ( back yard)

The dog likes the new redwood deck,  

the Durn car won't start

Eleven reasons my car won't start,
or for those who read berween the lines
What is it going to be that makes me depressed and disfunctional today?

My car won't start because the battery is dead
Some fool left the trunk open all night

Once my car would not start because it was just too cold
and the deisel ( yes I made that mistake, too ) would not combust.
When the GM deisel engine was running well it was a terrific powerplant
I could have powered a small town from its output.
The other eleven months of the year, we would have been in the dark.

It's bad when your car won't start just because it knows that its YOU trying to get somewhere important.
Older cars had to have a reason to not start.
Three areas had to be checked, fuel to the carburetor, spark to the plugs and is the key in the ignition?
New cars will not start if you have not got enough milk in your Latte.
Perhaps the last driver moved the seat and changed the tilt of the steering wheel.

Older cars you could push start.
Push, jump in and pop the clutch in second gear
You would be off, on your way, faster than your mechanic could say,
"You'll have to leave it here, so we can try starting it when it is cold."

If it was only the battery, push start was the way to go.
I got so good at this move that I could do it and actually look stylish
One, two, cha cha cha! There is nothing so sweet as the sound of
and old Volkswagen engine starting this way! It sounds like some one
blowing bubbles in their milkshake. Blup Blup Blup
Then as the air warms the frozen chocolate ice cream yumminess,
bupbupbupbupbup and then she fires!
Putt put pot,pitta and give her the gas ( unless you are out).

Sometimes the battery was all good, but the starter was having issues ( I HATE that phrase, that is why I use it here, to show how ridiculous it is) a long armed person could stick a screwdriver in between two terminals and get enough vroom to get to the next breakdown.
this works best on big heavy cars that you can't push because they have automatic transmissions. The demise of the stick shift will be lamented by a blogger in the twenty third century, as will the uselessness of the compact disk.

Once in a while, it is not the cars problem, but the operator is to blame.
My favorite: the car will not start because it did not make it home last night.
The operator had so much fun that the car had to sit outside the tavern all night, and now the keys do not reach the ignition from across town. Smart of the operator, to not drive impaired, but silly to be so impaired.

Commercial interlude for the Queen of classic rock's classy site.

Part two will address:

I can't find the keys
I found the keys but I can't find my way out if here.
I am outside and walk right past the car because I would rather go for a walk.

Summer is gone

Summer is gone
She left our town in the back of a truck
that was towing a boat.
she took the warm evenings
and the swealtering afternoons away with her

Summer is gone
she tucked the kids into school
before she turned out the light,
and laid another blanket on my bed

Summer has left us
with treasured memories
and overflowing trash cans.
A season full of happiness, a teaspoon of regrets

Summer has packed her bathing suit
and flip flops and she rode out of town on the
receding wave of laughter of our weekend party guests

Summer was a beauty, strong and tanned and young.
She needs a new place to play now
where winter's frost can not touch her golden skin

She leaves us and yet becons and calls
that we can travel too.
"Pull up your roots,and run with me.
We will chase the sun, south, over the border"

Summer left my town last night
and left me standing in the darkened street.
Cloudless sky full of stars, not a sound was heard,
except the whisper, the breath of summer on the run

gotta read Danny

please read Danny Sims blog
for heart warming stories of faith in action
and families reunited

Continuing adventures of Dave and Ernie

Dave and Ernie, when we last saw them, were airborn.

Flash forward two or three days.

Now that the car is wrecked, 'Ernie who has no clue' is allowed to drive again.
I will guess that you have never seen a Volkswagen bug with no back or right side windows going down the road. Neither have I.
We needed to get it home, and driving seemed the only way.
We needed a new front axle spindle, and found one in a junk yard
and managed to put it in while hanging with the aforementioned friends.
It still was not quite right, and we had to buy new bearings half way home because the others were shot.

The hardest part of going back home is passing by all the disaster sites.
We were fairly oblivious to this, as usual, but had to drive past the site of
my incredible fishtail stunt, and double back flip with a twist.
Later we drove through Cloverdale, slower so we would not set off the radar gun alarm.
We managed to keep from freezing to death by driving next to big rigs to minimize the wind coming in through the rear and side windows. I think it was January.

Each of our tickets cost $100.00, so we were pretty broke. We still looked like stupid stoners, which we were, and I am so surprised that we did not get pulled over again for driving an unsafe car. I called mom from somewhere along the way to say that we were fine but the car had been in an accident, no big deal, bla bla. When I drove in the driveway, she could see for herself that something unusual had happened to us. I did not know how comon alien abductions were back then or I might have tried that story. Falling asleep at the wheel was part of the truth. When you tell part of the truth you always feel better.
So that is what I told.
I'll bet Rick wishes we went to Mexico, except they don't give tickets for pot possession there.

This is part three, you will have to beg me for part two, and I will have to make most of it up since I really don't remember.
I am not sure if Ernie has got a clue yet, or if he is alive.
He often demonstrated a lack of caring for his own welfare
as evidenced by his tendency to mouth off to people wearing uniforms and guns.

Rolling bugs

If there were blogs 25 years ago mine would have a picture of an inverted VW beetle.

I had this problem with driving.
I was not very good at it.
Nor did I care to analyze this defect in my life and remedy it.
Bug buster event number one was on the way to Arcata, CA.
My friend Ernie and I were taking a road trip,
my brother Rick told me,
"No way you should go to Mexico, long haired brother who smokes dope like he breathes."
I had one if those cool Indian names that tells who you are and what you do.
I shortened it to "Dave's not here"*
so Dave's not here and "Ernie who has no clue" are diverted from Mexico to 'the river' which is a mythical place to us since neither of us has been there or knows how to get there.
We are driving to the freeway that will take us east to "the river"
and Ernie who has no clue says to me, "I have friends in Humbolt, wanna go there?"
Cool! let us go to Humbolt. Never mind that it is 637 miles away, this place is cool cause Ernie who has no clue "knows someone there".

Ten hours later we are not there.
but we have a speeding ticket and a matched set of brand new
California version, decriminalized marijuana tickets.
We are bummed, and the guy who wrote us the tickets
also took our stash. I am tired, and a bit ticked off that Ernie who clearly has no clue
drove us into a speed trap and got us in this bind.
I am more that tired, but Ernie who is a fool is not driving again,
I am asleep, and Ernie is asleep next to me in the passenger seat.
Hey that means I am in the drivers seat, and the car must be on auto pilot.
Nay, you say, there was no auto pilot function on the 1966 Beetle!
and so right you are! but that does not keep it from flying.....


later I will tell you that we did NOT fly all the way to Arcata,
that the landing is clearly something I had not mastered, and that
somehow dave's not here or there made it safely home in the flying bug.