Full freedom, to feel, to think, to say things I might have held in before.
That is my November gift to myself.
I need to feel so that what goes on inside me is not lost or wasted. Feeling alone, or feeling pain is not pleasant, nor to be sought out, but once it is a reality, I can derive benefit from it by not covering it, not ignoring the sensation, nor drowning it in food or drink. Feeling out of balance, without a 'partner', just flying solo through the day, not a lot of contact, I end up talking to myself more. Hopefully i will ask myself hard questions and give myself good answers!
You probably know that most self talk has a fair dose of illusion in it. A man looking in the mirror is more likely to say how good he looks and how his hair is not thinning. This man is no different. My hope is that I have once again the chance to compare myself not just to others, but to my own ideals, principles and beliefs. Am I true to me? Where I find I am not, am I willing to make the changes, the sacrifices that will move me in a better, more healthy direction? Isn't that what we all want ( in others), authenticity? then we should desire it in ourselves, and work at it, even if it is a life long process. So it is work. I will hammer away at it until I have a product that I am pleased with.