Monday, July 26, 2010

no time for Zeroes anymore

I used to have goose egg days when i figured the amount of value I had added to my life or to others was a ZERO. I am pretty sure that was just a mistaken notion and a fabrication of a depressed mental state that wanted a reason to beat up on myself. We all do that some, my family seemed better at it than some others. Dad was easy going, mom was hard, even on herself, and to this very day has not learned to relax the standard she has long held; that a day without WORK is a day of shame, a day thrown away, and one which should put you in fear of judgment from God, Himself, at your doorstep, with His divine clipboard of who did and who did not earn their right to breathe today.
I am like my dad in many of the good traits, and crazy is one of them. Crazy about the world around me, crazy when its raining outside ( or sunshining). I get crazy at the top of tall trees and on rooftops. I am crazy in love.
with the help of several good therapists I am appreciating myself and my unique gifts that I bring to this world, to my family and the gifts within that are private, for me alone to enjoy.
- - - - - Suffice it to say that I will always get to the end of each day and say, I did good today. I am worth a lot not because of WHAT I did so much as WHO I am and the spirit and love and joy that I possess and demonstrate in my daily life.


Kathryn said...

Oh, David, if you can learn this, what a blessing!

Maybe you can teach me too. :)

I suspect that each of us have to come to that in our own way.

Blessings on your day.

David said...

K, it only took me 54+ years to get here

Amrita said...

Dear David, thank you for sharing your heart.

My folks were very hard on themselves and us and I am reaping the outcome of that in many ways.

My Mom still squeezes me out at times, and now I am able to tell her not to do that.

I long to do crazy things, I wish I could.
But I am grateful for what God has given me.

Grow, learn and overcome David.

Grace, peace and mercy be yours.

Bob-kat said...

Some people never seem to figure this out adn if you cna say that about yourself at the end of each day, then that can only be a good thing :)

Snaggle Tooth said...

I think I dissappoint myself when I procratinate things that could be done- so I always try- but sometimes sleep takes precedence over other deadlines. All is important- I do feel better when more is accomplished tho!
That can be creative, physical, or emotional work-