Saturday, March 17, 2007

7:30am on a ( so far) perfect day

Dr. Stihl and I will be having a therapy session later today over at the Juniper tree.
That is always good news, as NOTHING smells as good as Juniper sawdust.
AND this limb needs to come down to make room for a future second story deck.

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may I extend my support in prayer for those dealing with divorce, and also loss.
I am divorced, and for a while I must say I let the process define me and the label confine me.
Two things were implicit in getting divorced ( or so it seemed):
1. I had failed at the most important thing I had ever attempted in my life.
2. I was defective because the person from whom I most wanted respect and admiration gave me neither. ( neither of those was true, by the way)
That I was alone, was obvious, but not accurate. My great family, my beautiful three children and God ( whom I neglected for too long) were more than enough when it came to love, kindness, and inspiring me to go on. I also am grateful for a good friend who saw the remnants of who I was, and reminded me that there was still a lot of life left to live.

In and through my separation I discovered or rediscovered no less than 12 things:
Cooking: the good , the bad and the just plain caveman cuisine!
reading: I went nuts for good books
writing: mostly letters, but they were biographical, so they told my story.
Alone time: for better or worse, i was stuck with me.
That in the ashes of a great fire, there are always dusty, sooty treasures waiting
Divorce must render two people apart, but it can not be allowed to disable children.
Cooking- again - i really love it and it feeds my creative soul. mmm Italian!
That being released from that 'difficult situation' may allow me to become who I was to be and to do what I am better able to do alone, than if I was still married.
This present moment is enough, past is gone. future is in God's capable hands. NOW is.
My children are a treasure box still being filled with goods. Once in a while I get to put something in there, and I need to make it something good.
Children are full of love and forgiveness, I need to be also.
--------------------------- 9:11 am ---------------
off to the wide open spaces

7 comments:

Karen said...

Cooking sounds good.

Here from Michele's! :+)

kenju said...

David, it sounds as if you are a definite survivor, and you have great insight into your situation. It's too bad that every person can come to those conclusions (especially my ex-son-in-law.

Carolyn said...

Hi David, I'm here from Michele's :)

I've been there (am remarried now) and can relate to a lot of what you said. I did lose some family and friends in the process though, which was quite hurtful. Sensitivity to what others think of divorce, or of us, can often blind us to the more supportive people in our midst. I think I just tried too hard to please those who I couldn't. Fortunately I learned to stop doing that! Sounds like you have a great attitude & are coming along just fine :)

Bob-kat said...

Your points about divorce bought tears to my eyes. Those are the questions I have. I have failed and it feels awful. I also cannot comprehend why my husband made no attempt to save our marriage and gave me up so easily. It feels awful (still). I also cannot comprehend why he was then so awful to me. I have also lost friends that felt they needed to take sides and that hurt too. I'm getting better though as I do not want to carry this around for the rest of my life. I hope you are too - it sounds like you are really strong and that cooking has worked wonders for you among the love of your family and your belief.

Kai said...

Powerful words.

It always amazes me how we never know where our life lessons will come from.

Kudos to you for embracing those lessons :-)

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

David,
Sounds like you and I walked through the same refining fire.

Blessings to you.

colleen said...

Having and raising my sons has been the highlight of my life. Having my second husband in my life has been the reward of it. Something that wouldn't have happened if I had stayed the first marriage. All the best.