I have the obligation and responsibility to Kick Butt!

I do. I checked the label from my manufacturer.

Size XL
washing instructions: Yes, often
Material: Made from the finest stuff, Earth.
When done here, this body will return to dust.
Note to wearer: I put you here for a reason, and only for a season.

Included equipment:
One nose - full size so you can smell a rat,
or decide what is edible and what is to be thrown away.
Two eyes - You will see what others can not, and look where others will not dare. Look carefully and do not waste your vision on empty things.
Two ears that hear everything, but you must train them to listen.
Hear the heart of your fellow man, not just the words they say.
Sensitive and strong hands:- to hold the ones you love, to hug and caress
Two hands that in emergency become hard like iron and will defend you and yours.
Ten fingers that can almost type, give good massages, and will if needed, pick your aforementioned nose, don't over do it though!
Mouth - listed last, since it is best used after fully utilizing the other equipment.
This mouth eats food, you limit how much and what kind, please.
this mouth drinks, be careful to give it what is best for you.
This mouth can make songs, some are private, only a few are for the general public.
All songs belong to the maker, and will serve his purposes.

Please fully utilize this and all other equipment within the constarints of love
and power. When it is time to console, you have what it takes. When you need to kick someone in the backside of their equipment, do so thoroughly. Leave no doubt where you stand,
but be careful you do not fall.