Friday, September 23, 2005

Venus and the play pen piled with poop

Sandy called me a potty mouth - so I went for the alliteration and cleaned up my title

I will act like you know these pertinent facts:
Mike the Iranian has a brand new house that I helped him finish.
The house is lovely but weird, spacious yet useless as houses go.
It is vacant and for rent.
I made the mistake of asking Iran Mike if he would like to rent to
the duck lady, Venus. He made the mistake of saying "yes".

The rumors are true, to some extent.
There are not a hundred ducklings in the house, but there are ten, and they all will have names soon. They live in the living room, for now, in a baby play pen that is filled with hay. The tarp under the playpen protects the new berber carpeting from being soiled, for now.
Baby ducks are unbearably cute, and ten are a riot!
They eat and poop. That's it.
The playpen is too small and the hay is heavy with spilled water and fecal matter.
The ducks don't care. The duck lady does not care.
I make another mistake ( the theme of this paper) ... I care.
While Venus lets the babies run and play I change the hay in the playpen.
this also lightens it so she will be able to drag it out into the sunshine during the beautiful spring days that are to come.
Ten ducks make a lot of poop! Wonderfully it is bacteria free according to the expert, the wise, the all knowing woman who lives with ducks. Duck poop does emit a faint odor that some would find offensive. Iran Mike thinks it is not cool to have ten ducks pooping in his house.
I only think it is cool because I have never seen two people so unsuited for a business relationship than Venus and her reluctant landlord. When you experience problems, the one sure way top get relief is to find people with bigger problems.
Venus and Mike both provided this outlet for me.
For that I am grateful.

for those seeking chronological reference points this is about 4 weeks after the yellow blouse sighting that changed my life. It is also about 4 years after first meeting Gus and Venus
( stay tuned for "The Curse of the Duck Eggs")


ME Strauss said...

Hi David,
I can't help but ask. Where do you find these people?

David said...

I tell this in somewhat random order - for fun - and the challenge of reading flashbacks. soon I will post in the "curse of duck eggs" and the byline is 'a tiny scrap of paper leads a man to murder and mayhem'
That is where you will find the answer to your question.

Patry Francis said...

Fun blog. Glad you poiinted me in this direction. But who is the woman in the yellow blouse?

Nettie said...

Is there a mama duck, or are we talking poor orphaned water fowl here?

G.G. said...

Quack. That is my comment on the bird s**t. And you know, I know!

G.G. said...

BTW: Inquiring minds want to know about the YELLOW shirt. Do tell. Hurry up and blog it.

Jayleigh said...

Wow david. I am waiting on pins and needles for the rest of the story!

Shelley said...

Found my way here via Jayleigh's Grand Adventure...what an interesting story that was! Looking forward to the next installment.

Sandy said...

Funny Funny
I feel bad for the baby ducks stuck in a playpen!
quack quack

You Potty Mouth!!!

Sandy said...

Yes yes yes
alliterations are waaaaayyy better than potty mouths!