Friday, September 23, 2005

Duck lady tales

I just tapped the motherlode of funny stories that are
filed in my memory banks. The tales of "duck lady".
In this long series I will tell you stuff that will:
make you laugh,
make you cry,
make you want to kick me in the seat of my pants,
cause you to wet your pants,
make you want a duck of your very own,
and give you a glimpse of how misunderstood Ornithologists are.

The huckster at the freak show yells into his bull horn:
The "duck lady of big bear lake" will amaze and confuse
She will perplex you and make you scream
Her anger will frighten you, with her delusions of grandeur
that could make a Ford F350 supercab green with envy.
Fury like no hurricane ever managed
and psych ops like the US military and the alien invasion WISH they had.

Day x: I should have hid under the table when she walked into the restaraunt

This was a very memorable evening, for all the right reasons.
Dinner for two, an exotic and potent Asian cocktail, a table with a view.
A very lovely dinner companion for whom I have great admiration and a huge amount of affection.
I can still see the canary yellow blouse coming at me
it is seared in my memory like that Christmas in Cambodia in '68
or was it 1969? I was not there, neither was HE!
I wish I was not seated so I could have run, I wish I was a mighty morphin power ranger so I could turn into an Egg roll, and roll out the door.
I wished I had given her a fake phone number.
I wished she was back in Hawaii, and not in my town
brewing up trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with she
and SHE's heading for me!!!! Ayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


David said...

"My son at University" says that if I ever go near this whacko again he will kill me. I said save a trip from fresno, I will do it myself,
because some mistakes you don't make three times.

word verification game is optional

My word: ncaebz none can alter evenings beautiful zest

Jayleigh said...

awwwww is this the ex story?



xray jove qt pie

Oren Schmidt said...

This better not be an Ex story, if dad ever dated venus he would probably be crazier than she was, and that is physically impossible.

David said...

I have 6 more episodes in draft form ready for me to post them in a flurry of bloggasciousness. Maybe Nettie will come up with a cheer for me?
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