Friday, September 23, 2005

Mothers little helpers

Time : After Gus, but before the "great duck giveaway"
Place: Venus' living room
scene: Home shopping channel is on, the "stack of credit cards are at hand, and on the couch sits the vestige of a once vibrant woman, on the phone, buying something, anything.
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I am here because Gus can no longer help with the ducks in the yard.
Gus is dead
He was found at the other house, with a lot of alcohol in him. a lot of poison if you will.
probably self inflicted fatal dose of booze. more realistically a fatal dose of duck lady abuse over many years. She has "claimed" to be dying, and I believed her, she claimed to be in a lot of pain. She was sad and pathetic. I felt like the only person she trusted.
"Hand me my pills", she said.
The bottle of pills looked like Jesse Jackson's rainbow Coalition, hundreds of pills and seven different types. She knew them all by name, like they were her best friends.
She tries to pick out the ones that will work this time, but can't get them in her hand.
"Get me the tiny white ones she says, only the morphine are any good"
The bottle of vodka is hidden under the coffee table, she asks for it and says
it helps to kick in the effect of the pain relievers. I start to wonder what the hell is going on
I am slow to figure things out, maybe a bit stupid or naive. Next time I see Venus she is in the hospital, off all of the pills and mad as a wet hen.
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in the writers mind
**************************
we are in the bottle of pills
we are the medication
She takes us for relief, or distraction,
we are popped or puked out at the whim of the addicted
providing whatever comfort we can in the moments we are ingested
this is the best we can do
So many tried to help, and each came to the point of not being able to do more
or to be what was needed.
how many people did you trash on your way down, Venus?
I would have given myself to this person's illness
but she hated my weakness and challenged all strength in others
she pushed and pulled and pleaded and threatened
to get HER way.
but ultimately it was the pills that were in charge and the psychosis
that really ran the show.
It was a tragi-comedy, I was a bit player and did not make the final cut.
I ended up making set changes and playing some sound effects from the wings.
I also ended up very shaken by the rage and hostility
of a woman who was mentally ill, and dangerously so.

She moved away - for a while and everything was peaceful
but I never could shake the hateful words and vile speech that spewed
from the lips of this poisonous person.

4 comments:

Joe said...

OK, I'm commenting. I just don't know what to say.

To tell the truth, I'm not sure what this is all about.

But then I only did my undergraduate work in psychology...what do I know?

Jayleigh said...

Wow David. This is truly disturbing.

I sort of wish you'd gone ahead and just posted these in order, because I am so lost!

Good writing though... I just don't understand what's happening.

**hugs** friend... I feel like I haven't seen you or talked with you in ages. I kinda miss ya little fella!

Jayleigh said...

btw awesome music

David said...

so I have two readres left... What have I done? My blog is in ruins alas!
Jay, you don't hav ta speek minnesotan fer me now, jes cuz im havin a bad day dont cha no?