for too long I have stood at the edge of God's river and dipped my toes into His goodness, scooping a little of this spiritual refreshment up to my lips for a taste of the holiness that He is.
For another season I have let the energy of the Spirit pass me by as I wondered what was wrong, why I did not have direction or clarity. I had sparks of insight and a warming of the possibilities of LIFE in Christ, but no real fire. My excitement peaked at meetings and on outings but crashed when I needed it most when I was alone or home facing a mountain of tasks that need to be accomplished, one at a time and done in order to bring order to my confused and chaotic house.
I wanted to quit, but that was not an option when others are counting on you.
I thank God for love.
Love of my family has meant so much in the years of giving mom (gradually) back to the Lord. their constant support and affirmation of me has kept me when outside circumstances have pounded away and tried to bring me down. The love of my brothers and sisters in Christ, both close by and all across the world have lifted me and made me smile and laugh, allowing me to worship and praise the savior of my soul. The love of one very special and precious woman has been a tangible gift and a bright light in the wake of my personal losses and struggles. Her joy and laughter mixed with practical wisdom have added ballast to the keel of my vessel and kept me upright in stormy times.
Last night at bible study I revealed some of my pain and doubts and asked for prayer. The answer was quite simply "do", forget what you Don't and focus on what you do. I am to stop telling myself what is NOT and recount from God's holy word what IS!
So this morning I read the bible FIRST, and the prayed, and then walked the dog (whom I really enjoy), before making my coffee or pushing the ON button on this computer.
I am putting God's attitude toward me into action: If I was worth Jesus hanging on the cross, then I am worth caring for my own soul by feeding myself spiritual food and taking spiritual drink from the spring of Living waters that is Christ himself.