Monday, December 26, 2005

I need a new set of eyes, and ears

What I don't see that others do see
and what I fail to hear in others kind words
are the most important sentiments of any Holy season.
My reaction to seasonal pressure closes off my senses to some of the most beautiful aspects of this powerful family gathering. Here is what I learned the last two days.
I am worthy of receiving love, and I am most fortunate to be in a family that gives it in large doses.
I give gifts that do not fit even my own molded idea of "GIFT" and I do it at various times, sometimes my lateness cancels out some of the gift's value in my own mind.
I like to DO THINGS for people, and for my family. I am happy with what used to be my dad's roles of picking out and setting up the Christmas tree. Others can decorate it, I just like trimming off the bottom, getting it into the stand and making it fit the space.
I really loved the hours I spent making the lasagna, and seeing all of us eat way too much of this cheesy concoction. I got wonderful reviews on this newly rediscovered tradition. ( and there are leftovers waiting to be fedexed to hungry bloggers.)
I used to think that one of the gifts that I brought to Christmas day was my young children that aunts and uncles could spoil with treats. It is truly a gift to have beautiful children, and more so to see them become wonderful young men and women, who give generously and receive graciously ( and have trouble writing thank you notes). We schmidt's go on another generation and create new traditions to blend with the old.
I was so silly to focus so tightly on how I felt about this season.
Hannukah started and since my former wife is Jewish, maybe I can extend myself into the festival of Lights, and try to get a sense for what a miracle LIFE is, and how much more I need to appreciate it.
I love the people that held me up when I was faint. I am much better now ( and fatter)!


Veronika said...

The greatest gifts that we can give and receive are the ones that aren't tangible; the joy in our kids' eyes, the smiles on their faces, the love that we feel.
(A wise man up in the mountians helped me realize that)
I'll take some lasagne! What a great tradition :)

mreddie said...

It is so sad to not have someone to hold us up when we get weak, sadder still when we do have someone to hold us up and we refuse to let them. I'm glad that you had someone and that you allowed them to hold you up. And it sounds like you had a great Christmas and I'm glad for that as well. ec

Bar Bar A said...

Beautifully written, David. And yes, you are very worthy of love and appreciation. It's harder for some of us to accept that fact than it is for others, I am glad you are learning to receive the love that many people have for you.

Snaggle Tooth said...

I feel a big sigh relief having the holiday stresses off the over-loaded-with-worry back-pack, myself!
Sometimes life can be a bit of a trial on patience n pain theshold... I've got hives on my eyelids today, my punishment for being at other's allergen-infested homes... those darn scented candles!
But it's worth the visit with the kindness of people- n again, one day's oil can last all week with help from the creator if we but ask for it...
My best friends growing up were Jewish, n lovely kind souls who included me in their traditional rituals. happy night 2!

Jayleigh said...

D- Thanks for the beautiful images of a Christmas that ended up meaning so much to you. You're a friend in the truest sense of the word, and life would be so much less fun (and funky!) without you in it.

That's what I count as one of my greatest blessings this year: you.

Also, you're the one who put me on the poncho craze. I finished number 7 yesterday afternoon, and I have plans for 3 more. :-)


Thanks for sharing!

Shelley said...

Sounds like you learned some good things this holiday :o) Glad your Christmas was good and that everyone enjoyed your lasagna!

Rauf said...

No life without love.
you seem to make your stay worthwhile David. Your foot prints on the sands of time seem very well defined.
Happy holidays
Thanks for stopping by

fl13grl said...

wishing you a lovely week...i am seriously wishing I had some of that lasagna right about now! Smile, you never know who is thinking about you! Cheers, t

debi said...

So you imagined it worse than it was? I prayed that you would be able to see this time for what i it is, a moment, not an existance. I am still praying for a New Year full of hope and joy for the future

Joe said...

"Fatter." You just had to bring that up.

I gained 5 pounds over Christmas.

I see starvation in my future.

Hope you had a blessed Christmas!

Barbara said...

Wishing you the happiest of New Year's

Joyce said...

So glad that you had a good time. Love is the Ultimate gift--and it sounds like you received AND gave it!

Blessings to you--and send some of that Lasagna my way!!