It's not like a ping pong ball going back and forth.
It's more like a planet going in and out of shadow.
I am being eclipsed by a sad mood, a dark season
and a time of weight that is covering my normal(?) happiness
light heart, and creativity.
I have some sense of core issues that cause the light to fail to reach me.
I know what mistakes I have made and how blind I am to the solutions.
When I look for a door, I see a brick wall, when I reach for a window it has bars on it.
I smell the fresh air outside but can only imagine what the free people are doing today, what it's like to not have a straight jacket on, and a leaden soul.
Here is what I know.
I know you care - so many people do.
I know this is not forever nor is it a fatal disease.
I know I would never hurt myself or any other person.
Sadly I also know that my fantasy of someone or something other than myself being the solution is just a fantasy, a dream that dies a thousand deaths, but rises yet again.
At least I can write, if not very well.
foundation
- David Edward
- Big Bear Lake, California, United States
- I am a lover of God, and I am a lover of life. My three wonderful children help me be a better man, and I consider fatherhood my most important role. These kids have made my life meaningful and filled with beauty. Nothing compares to them or gets between us. My mom lived 91 years and as youngest I was privileged to make sure she was comfortable and safe in her own home, was never alone, had plenty of friends and family coming around. She knew, before she passed away, how much we kids appreciated all she did for us over the many years. I am the youngest of five. I have ADD and it makes me fun, or irritating, depending on who you ask. Most of all I am real, so this blog has fun aspects and then serious writings, too. You get both, for one click of the mouse.
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