Thursday, October 06, 2005

Things I WON'T do to gain readership

( i though of leaving this blank, but then you might think I forgot to write my post)

Ok I love readers!
Now that I know who and where you are, I am stalking for more
Jayleigh knows how crazy I can be, Joe probably does too.
I will go to the ends of my keyboard for readers... +- -*/!~ see?
I will borrow photos of nails in head xrays,
I will brave a Cher concert in Los fagales to bring you up to the minute
details of her latest non costume.
I will sit up late and rise early and rack my brain
(did you ever see a brain rack? it aint pretty!)

Here as promised are my short list of things I will not do to gain readers:
I won't pay them, I can't afford that.
I think that is my list
This post is really going to suck.

rack rack

I won't buy my mom a computer and an internet connection.
I wont print up business cards with only my URL on it and hand them out
( but they are free on Vista print - I may have to rethink that one)

I won't go to see who is the most searched celebrity and then use their name a bunch of times.
Lindsay Lohan would not be seen here with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie anyway.
They have such a hard time because Lindsay Lohan is crushing on Ashlee Simpson and the Counting Crows. Have a Green Day, everybody!

Nevermind. I just found out that Britney Spears and Kelly Ripa and Regis Philbin were the most searched names of 2004, hmm I wonder who is hot in 2005 - any suggestions?

Oh BTW, when Lindasy Lohan was asked about the Avian flu scare, she said.
" I am not worried, I drink Dasani."

Do you think Jay Leno will pay for that joke?

I love me. do U2 u2 u2 U2 ? get it bono?


Jayleigh said...

David, you missed out yesterday on my audioblog. I took it off because I was afraid I actually DID sound like Fargo girl.


Love you man!!!!!

Jayleigh said...

btw, I think you should get the business cards

Joe said...

Hey! I just listened to your audio post! You hve a very good voice and could work in radio!

If ever move to Southwest Florida, look me up!

David said...

Jay - now I am crushed again - no audio from superblogger woman. Acckkkk!
You ARE right about the cards.

Joe, I have been told that a lot.
I worked the phones for 11 years with Pac bell and used play with my voice to pass the time. I used to do a great chinese "opelayto may i help you?"
I could do radio, Joe, but them what would YOU do?

Daphnewood said...

that is such a funny post. nothing like some keywords to get you a google search, eh David? loved it!

Bono said...

David, David, are too cute throwing in MY BAND at the end to get attention. Cheers to you, brother. Come check me out in LA next month. I'll set you up with some back stage passes if your bring along that lovely friend of yours.

David said...

Bono - dude- like I an so there, send some of the easy green so I can get close enough to wave at you, yes i will bring the lovely voiced blog administrator lady but she needs plane tickest and a limo - she is a style conscious woman. dude i am so psyched that you commented on my blog - it was worth sitting here at the library all day. whoa Im like freakin out, yahhh library lady - look who posted to my blog!! yikes

Etchen said...

How in the world is Regis Philbin one of the most seached names? That's sorta sad.

kimananda said...

Hmmm...should I say I got here by searching for Britney or for Regis? O.K., I confess, you were nice enough to visit me first. It's a nice blog you've got going here, and I may need to come back sometime.

Neo said...

David Can I borrow some tin foil?


Shelley said...

ROFL!!! What a great entry!!! I loved it! Thanks for the laugh...I needed it!

Matthew said...

I drink Disani!?

That's priceless! Tell Leno and Letterman they gotta pay up big for that one... And watch they don't steal it.

Sandy said...

You made that up!?
funny post, sure you don't wanna pay us to read your blog??

Texasgal said...

Gotta get the business cards....then you can just walk up to random people and give them your card. Say, "Did you get one of these?"