Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Toaster waffles

Many of life's most perplexing questions can be answered simply:
Toaster waffles!

Let's explore this.
You are going out on a date, you have run out of your favorite cologne, "musky ferret".
What do you use for a subtle alluring scent? A toaster waffle in your pocket will do quite nicely.

You car has a flat and the spare was borrowed by a distant cousin three weeks ago.
What to put on to get you to the tire shop? Toaster waffles, if you buy the round ones, and leave them frozen.

Do you have trouble sliding the credenza across the new laminate floor without scratching it?
Just slip four blueberry flavored aunt Jemimas under those legs, with ample butter, and there you go! Toaster waffles to the rescue!

The kids are bored and cranky, all the games in the closet are "no fun"
What shall we play?
Toaster waffle frisbee golf!
Or perhaps Mr. Toaster Waffle head, using ketchup and mustard to make his cute face and pickles for the ears! Moms, you will love this game because when you are finished playing, lunch is ready!

Now it your turn. Pick something easy at first, like desalinization, World peace, or balancing the budget of the state of Ca lee for nee uh; then scratch your head for a way to make a humble and delicious breakfast into a global solution.

Right now I have to eat my "better butter mousetrap" bait.

3 comments:

Daphnewood said...

eeeeewww! Ketchup and mustard? Don't believe all the hype about waffles, David. When I had my first child and she was teething everyone said "give her frozen waffles to ease the pain". First she wouldn't touch them unless they were flavored with cinnamon or blueberry and second, they just left this purple or brown gooey mess all over that needed a power hose to wash down.

Heather said...

i had issues with the frozen waffle/teething thing, too. with my 1st she just didn't care to chew on them. with my second, he chew so hard that he bit off a chunk and almost choked... not to mention that brown goo spoken of. so i agree with daphne - don't believe the waffle hype.

Layla said...

you are TOO funny :)