Saturday, March 07, 2009

a whole string of bad words

have you ever waited for something you did not want?
waited for it to happen
or for a letter to come that was NOT WELCOME.
ever had a black and white behind you and WAITED for the red lights to come on?
(I will bet Sage and Russ know all about that)

this is more personal, closer to home. I shall continue to allude.
What is this feeling, dreading, expecting, KNOWING
that around the corner is a scene I do not want to be in
a role I do not want to act out
Just over the next rise in the road is a tanker truck, barreling toward you in your lane
and the driver can not see you. The oaths your mouth would utter become a silent scream as they are obliterated by his massive air horn blasting.
The book you are reading is headed in a terrible direction and you can not put it down.
you have skied hard all day and are tired, but following a friend, you crest a cornice and the bottom falls out, leaving you airborne and out of control, a hard landing is the best youcan hope for , but a trip to the bone setter is more likely.
Thankfully none of that is going to happen, but damn, it feels like i am swimming hard left in a swirl going right. Right down the toilet bowl.

5 comments:

isabella mori said...

hi david, good to meet you here in the blogosphere.

yeah, i know that feeling - or at least a similar one. used to have dreams about that all the time and am incredibly grateful that i haven't had the feeling for quite a few years, and the dreams have faded, too. but i still remember the almost physical feeling in my brain of waiting for the shoe to drop.

Bob-kat said...

I am all too familiar with that feeling the last 2 - 3 years. It's feeling out of control combined with the hard work to get through whatever is being thrown at you. I hope these moments are rare for you. The trick is knowing that the current will change and things do get better. There's a word for it....hope :)

Snaggle Tooth said...

A foreboding, irky anticipation is clouding about you.
A warning of dread, unknown.

I think your prob worried about your Mother more than your conscious mind knows.

Best of luck for you- I send!.

Amrita said...

I too am feeling like i am swimming ina flush bowl. Tough situation in church. When you are in leadship and everybody is getting hit by the recession one has to face very hard situations. Just pray that the Lord gives my heart peace.

Sleepypete said...

I know what you mean - a nebulous feeling that "something" is going to happen but you can't put your finger on exactly what it will be.

Drives me nuts when that hits me !

On book - this is why I stopped reading the Star Wars New Jedi Order books. There's some cracking Star Wars novels written but the NJO ones seemed to be digging a huge depressing pit from which there appeared no escape. Reading different stuff now.