Cat on life support

Hi, I'm David, and I am a cat owner.
It iss true that he really calls the shots
but he lets me keep the title "Owner"
because it makes me feel good.

Patches has been with us a long time
since Hannah was 4 - Ten years ago.
He was not always a cool cat
I can remenber him scratching
at us, and living outside mostly
when we had the "Big place", and the house
was run by a dog (Can you imagine!!!)

He has out lasted all the dogs
and ten cars, he has mellowed
and I have grown in my affection and
need for him. He likes to lay in the middle of my chest
while I (try) to read. He likes to rub his face against mine
and I like it too.

Since January I have been injecting insulin to
help him with his diabetes.
This is not my thing, nor does it fit
my animal ownership philosophy or financial plan.
All the dogs cost money once or twice at the vet
but it took a long time to pay off.
At some point you say to the dog in your best
and most caring way, "I can't afford this and I wont do this to you"
I am not into long life for long life sake if
the quality is low ( I will change this view when I get near the end)

My cat is getting near the end.
His new nick name is Flop, because
he walks a little, with very unstable steps,
and then you hear this Whomp! as his 16 lbs hits the floor

Well Flop has not responded well to the insulin
and I am not the best at giving it to him
exactly every twelve hours, we are trying a different dose
and have moved his cat box downstairs so he does not have to climb upstairs
to pee. He drinks a LOT if water and fills the litter box
because his system is dumping a lot of something into his urine.

So someday soon we are taking the last ride to my terrific
and caring vet Dr. Kim.
Patches will be a part of our history.

I need to go thru this. It is a part of life that I
am learning about, slowly, and preparing in some way
for my own trip to the vet. Hopefully I have a few good years
and they will pet me and kiss me and tell me what a good guy
I have been before the pink stuff flows and I close my eyes.

I am sad, you can tell.